Resiliency

A few weeks ago I traveled to Little Rock, Arkansas for the Rural Sites Network Conference. Several of my National Writing Project colleagues read my blog and asked that I explain what it meant to transition to my natural hair and why this was such a scary process for me. I was happy to oblige and answer any and all questions.

When I traveled to Arkansas, I was more and more self-conscious about my hair because I had surpassed the time I would normally have gotten a relaxer, so it was evident (at least in my mind) that people were noticing changes in my hair texture.

For the pre-conference activities I went to the William J. Clinton Presidential Library and the Central High School National Historic Site tour. Who knew that my visit to Little Rock, Arkansas would aid in my continuous growth through my hair journey. 

After the Clinton Library tour, a few of us walked to the Clinton Museum Store. It was there I met a beautiful regal looking Black woman with natural hair. I realized that I was staring, so I introduced myself and explained why I was being rude. She was very understanding and through our brief conversation I was uplifted. I felt a connection with this woman that I had never laid eyes on until that very moment in the store. She took a minute to share her testimony and how she was a year into the natural process. She explained how her friends and family thought she was crazy for cutting her beyond shoulder length mane to a teeny tiny afro. At the time our lives collided, she was sporting two-strand twists. She embodied where I want to be a year from now, confident and comfortable in my own skin. 

My next stop was Central High School. I have read both fiction and non-fiction accounts of the Little Rock Nine crisis in 1957. I wasn't prepared for the wave of emotions I would feel from being in that space. The strength of these nine teenagers taking a stand for what is right. I can't imagine how they felt being escorted to school, throughout school, and home each day. All of this made me think... why am I fretting over hair? If hair is my biggest worry then I should consider myself blessed. Did Ernest Green, Elizabeth Eckford,  Jefferson Thomas, Terrence Roberts, Carlotta Wall LaNier, Minijean Brown, Gloria Ray Karlmark, Thelma Mothershed, or Melba Beals concern themselves with how others might view them? If that were the case they would never have made history. They stood tall, held their heads high and pushed forward. They didn't worry themselves with those that were afraid. I was reminded that others were offered this same opportunity, but when the dust settled, nine were left standing.

This experience has reminded me that I come from a resilient people and I can face anything no matter how big or small.

aWordfromSmith

DD and I in front of the Little Rock Nine bronze statues outside the state capitol

In front of Central High School

Posing with Sharon Washington and Spirit Trickey-Rowan

Bittersweet

A few days ago, I had what I hope to be my last hair appointment. Well, I know I will still need someone to trim my ends ever so often, but not the two-week appointment like clock work that I have had for as long as I can remember.  As I sat in the shop for hours and hours upon end waiting for my stylist to call me to the chair, I welled with joy at the thought of being able take back those hours of sitting in a shop at someone else's mercy. These days of waiting from 3-6 hours are coming to an end. Those precious hours of my life, that I can never get back, can now be spent in the comfort of my own home taking the time to care for my hair and using that time to meditate, listening to an audio book, listening and/or singing along to music, watching a movie, or whatever I choose.

My time is valuable and I am often frustrated when others don't take this into consideration. What's the point of making an appointment if it is ignored? In all my years of getting my "hair done" I have never had a stylist that honored an appointment time. I am not bashing hair stylist, but I am speaking from my experience which is the only thing I have to base this information. I have waited as long as two hours before anyone touched my hair, not to mention the additional hours required to wash, dry, and style. Trust me, I have tried to find other people and if they get me in and out of the shop in a timely manner, I was dissatisfied with my hair when I left. Take this information for what it's worth, but I for one I am ready to take my hair into my own hands and out of the hands of others that could care less about its health and my time.

My hair has been thinning for years and whenever I'd mention going natural to my stylists they (yes, more than one) would discourage me from doing so. I trusted them as professionals and didn't pursue the matter further. I look back and think how unfortunate it is that black professionals would discourage instead of giving the facts and allowing me to weigh my options and make the best decision for Tanisha. Instead, they suggested and hair coloring, weaves, no-lye relaxers, and special hair care products. I did all the above except for the weave. I don't have anything against weave, but if I ever got a weave in my hair I'd have to get a sew-in, no way am I letting you glue anything to my scalp but all they used was glue. Needless to say, nothing worked. I finally relented and tried the coloring about a month ago. The color helped camouflage my thinning spots a little but not enough. I have been unhappy with my hair for years and it was time for me to inform myself and not rely on "professionals" to tell me what was best.

 2010

2007

I guess you could say going to the salon will be bittersweet. When something becomes so ingrained in your mind it's hard to go against it but I am ready for this next chapter.

aWordfromSmith