The Natural Roller Coaster Ride

Today is the start of my third week as a natural woman. I must say I have had my share of ups and downs over these past three weeks. I read all about the wave of emotions women that have BC'd (big chopped) could possibly go through while going back to their natural roots, but I have to admit that I still wasn't quite prepared.

Each day, my hair grows on me, but I have days when I feel like the ugly duckling and am taken back to my junior high days. And other days when I feel like I could be the Next Top Model, like my college days. I continue to learn daily how to care for my hair and am still playing around with various products to find the one(s) my hair likes. My husband told me the other day that I spend more time taking care of my hair now than I did when I had a relaxer. He is correct. Each day I come home and survey my hair to see how it held up over the course of the day, in addition, to sitting on the couch for a few hours watching YouTube videos of other natural women sharing products, hairstyles, or just sharing an uplifting word to newbies like myself.

This weekend I traveled home for my uncle's retirement party where I saw family, former colleagues, and friends. Everyone had nothing but positive things to say about my new look. Hair is such a simple four letter word, but it's amazing how powerful it is. Each day I grow stronger and start to believe it when I say that my hair doesn't define me. I downloaded India Arie's, "I Am Not My Hair" and sing it each day like an anthem. It probably doesn't help that I have always been insecure about my looks partially due to growing up being the tallest girl in my school where I was affectionately called Big Bird, Olive Oyl, tree, and the list goes on. So, those childhood memories of being the tall, skinny, big-teethed, brace-faced, big glasses faced girl all resurfaced.

So, this weekend was major for me. In addition, to the party one of my brother's best friends passed away, so several of his friends were in town. Many of them I had not seen in years and being that they view me as a little sister I knew they would have no problem with candor in reference to my hair. Again, I am my worst critic as I received nothing but double takes and positive comments the entire night. I was stylin' in my pink and green tee emblazoned with the phrase, "Thank God I'm Natural" along with the silhouette of a natural haired female.

While in the ladies room, my sister and I were approached by a lady who said, "You are both such beautiful sistas." We politely thanked her and I walked back to our table holding my head just a wee bit higher. We can all say that we don't need the affirmation of others, but it does feel good. I will end with my mantra, as of late (sing it with me):

I am not my hair

I am not this skin

I am not your expectations no 

I am not my hair 

I am not this skin 

I am a soul that lives within

Until next time my friends.

aWordfromSmith

Me and my cousin, Trish

My sister and my sister-cousin (fellow naturals)

Me (Week 2)