Natural-versary

In three days I can officially say that I have been natural for one year. Wow! I can't stress enough how much I have grown as a woman through this process. I've read other natural women's blogs and some have written about people saying negative things around and to them about their hair. I must say that the only demons I've had to fight have been my own. My family and friends have all been supportive. Most of them admire my courage. It's kind of sad that we use the word courage when speaking of wearing your natural hair, the hair you were born with, the hair God gave you, but I digress.

Women going back to their natural hair has become prevalent in society. I see more natural women in magazines, commercials, billboards, etc. There are also loads of natural hair care lines with products for  all types of textures and the market is steadily growing. I recently returned from the Maryland/D.C. area and while there I got to hang out with my sister/cousin and we commented on how all we saw among black women were either naturals or weaves. And some of the weaves could be naturals underneath so there you go. My sister/cousin and sister are both natural, but they have chosen to loc their hair. My sister has traditional locs and my sister/cousin had sisterlocks. We have all supported one another throughout this process. We send one another pictures of everything from our hair growth, to new hair accessories, to our experiments with make-up. It's all new to the three of us and I'm blessed to have two of the people that I love dearest in this world to share this experience with.

My sister/cousin and myself

My sister

The 2011-2012 school year was my first year as an administrator at THS. Being an administrator at such a large high school afforded me the opportunity to have conversations with young ladies from such vast backgrounds. With my middle school background, being the high school was virgin territory and I loved every minute of it. I was the ninth grade administrator, but I had the pleasure of getting to know several seniors that were my office assistants. One young lady in particular and I grew close and I became the mentor for her senior project. She actually had another person as her mentor when school began, but over the course of the year she would come to my office frustrated about her project and I would talk her through it and eventually she asked her English teacher if she could change mentors and the rest is history. I can't recall the final title of her project but it was about being comfortable with who you are. She focused on self-esteem and how social media seems to play such an important role in young adolescent girls views of themselves. We talked about self-esteem as it relates to body size, hair, and clothing. I was able to mentor her and she in turn was able to serve as a mentor for many of my ninth grade girls. We came full circle. I love it!

I was asked to speak at a Black History Program for a local church. I used my favorite children's book I Like Myself as a resource for my speech. I decided to talk focus on the audience making black history versus the traditional rattling off of blacks in history and their accomplishments. I talked about the history of blacks from the perspective of how far would those people in history have come if they had chosen to focus on trivial things like hair and worry about how others perceived them. For us to focus on those superficial things borders insanity. I noted how we need to focus on being a good person, dreaming big,  and having self love or we will never prosper. One of the most powerful lines in the book reads:

"No matter if they stop and stare,

no person, ever, anywhere,

can make me feel that what they see,

is all there really is to me."

So simple, yet profound. We can't allow people to feel that what they see with the human eye is who we are because we so much more. There are depths and intricacies to me that it takes time to uncover with more than a mere glance or stare. I hope they got from my talk that WE give people power over us and this is something that should never happen.  I read the book aloud at the end of my talk and the children as well as the adults loved it. The illustrations in the book are beautiful in addition to the words being simple enough that regardless of age or background one can get the message. I also joked about the girl in the book having hair like me.

See the likeness? :-) 

But besides the speaking engagements I was able to talk with students on a daily basis.  I had one young lady get into an exchange of words with a young man in class because he called her hair nappy. Well, you know that struck a cord with me. I had a brief chat with her about her definition of nappy and how she felt about her hair. I have learned to use the word nappy in a positive connotation but for a thirteen year-old that is a hard pill to swallow. I dried her tears and she left my office feeling better. I encouraged her the rest of the year when I saw her in the hallway or in the classroom. Opportunities kept presenting themselves for me to encourage others throughout the year.

I am learning to pray and ask God for guidance in every aspect of my life. I know I am where He wants me to be at this point in my life and everything has happened for a reason and as Oprah would say it is "divine intervention." There is nothing better than having a sense of purpose. Whenever I used to go through a difficult time in my life I would hear my mother saying, "The Lord won't put on you more than you can bare" and I would think the Lord must have me confused with some other brown girl, but I now realize that I'm like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz..."I've had it all along."

My supportive husband

aWordfromSmith