Mother's Day 2013 Reflections

Me at BGR!
(E wouldn't get in picture...
she wasn't camera ready)

One of the presenters

It has been a long time and I have allowed life to get in the way of my writing. This blog isn't so much about my hair journey rather feelings that have come about as a result of events that took place during my Mother's Day weekend.

I started my weekend with one of my long time friends and angels, Erika, whom I affectionately call E. Everyone needs a friend that no matter how much time has passed between the two of you, once you see each other it's as if no time has passed at all. E and I went to the Black Girls Run: Preserve the Sexy Tour. I started running a year ago while living in Tupelo, MS. Who knew I'd enjoy running, but I did. When I moved to Natchez last July I stopped running and I think it's partially because I don't have the beautiful parks in Natchez, MS like I did in Tupelo. Running was my release. The workshop on Saturday gave me the motivation I needed to get back on track, literally. More to come on my road back to a healthy me.

Teri, Erika, and I (and Reign) 2013

Teri, Erika, and I circa 2004

I spent the night at my other angel's house, Teri, and got to spend time not only with T but with her new beau, Kel, and Miss Reign. Being around Reign started the baby talk conversation again which lead to my heavy heart around Mother's Day weekend. I have come to accept the fact that having a child(ren) of my own may not be a part of God's plan for me. That acceptance didn't come easy and it is not something I've shared with many people. But lately I have gotten more of the "when are you going to have kids?" I take a deep breath and simply say, "whenever God decides to bless me with a child" or "I have 3800+ children and counting." Being in education for 15+ years I have touched the lives of many children and have been like a mother, counselor, confidant, psychologist, and the list goes on. Being a mother is more than just giving birth because I know so many females that have given birth, but are far from being a mother.

Reign!

I do wish people would be more thoughtful and not ask questions like this, but I have grown and try to no longer take offense. A quotable line is that you can't change others, you can only change yourself. As I have matured, I've mastered the art of letting people know when they have overstepped their boundaries in a polite but firm manner. I don't know if people see an educated, childless, married woman and think something must be wrong with me so they are compelled to inquire. All I know is I am going to continue living my life and impacting the lives of all the children that enter my life. 

Sissy, Pay, & I

My brother

To cap off the weekend, my family and I traveled to Vicksburg to visit my mother's grave site. Reflecting on my life without my mother always makes my heart heavy. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her, sometimes through laughter and at times through tears, but she is always at the forefront of my mind. It saddens me that she didn't get to meet her grandchildren, see her little man Jamiel grow up, see that her daughters both followed in her footsteps and became educators, and the list goes on. But I am proud of the woman I am becoming and know that I am a work in progress all because of the values she instilled in me before she left this world.

Titi and her favorite girl

Thank you for reading. 

aWordfromSmith